


I Hate the Sun and Pure Wine

by anewkindofthrill



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Bloodplay, Incest, Loki's POV, M/M, Sibling Incest, Unhealthy Relationships, quasi Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 23:06:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anewkindofthrill/pseuds/anewkindofthrill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I come, I have a vision of you, but with blue skin and I can‘t stop screaming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate the Sun and Pure Wine

Sometimes I think I go too far with my wish to be your equal. 

But how boring would life be if I couldn‘t go too far with things? 

But imagine, you and I, as one. 

I‘ve always imagined you and me as two sides of a whole - I‘m the side which lies in the shadows. If we were a stone, I‘d be the part which faces the ground and you‘d be the part illuminated by the sun. But I‘m okay with that, it has always been this way. 

Though sometimes I want the stone to be turned upside down. Just for a moment. I want everyone to see that the stone cannot exist without the part facing down. After that, I can be that part again. I don‘t like the sun anyway. 

But the sun should know that I‘m still there, that I‘m able to absorb its _(his)_ light if I want to, if I have to. 

And that I‘m as perfect in my form as you are. Only different. Dark. Pale, because I‘ve never bathed in the light of the sun.  
______

I don‘t understand why you desire unification with me. 

I try to entangle you with my shadows every day - if I cannot be in the light of the sun, I want to drag you into the dark with me at least. Because we‘re two sides of a whole. 

You are the bowl of a cup, which pure wine is poured into, always, everywhere, and I am the stock holding the cup. Grasped, gripped, used, always supporting the full cup. 

Perhaps I should just collapse to make you fall and spill the wine? 

I find this a nice thought when I‘m trying to punch your face with my magic. 

We both know how this will end tonight. I don‘t know why you call upon me. 

But I know why I accept you.  
______

Sometimes, when you lie there, so vulnerable, while the sunlight shines through my windows and throws the shadows of the curtains onto you, 

_yes, you should be in the shadows_  


I think you have the same wish as I do. A presposterous thought, really, and I summon a knife into my hand and I cut your back, deeply, but not too much so. 

You don‘t move, enduring it, and I heal the cut and smear your blood around all over your back, enjoying a cloud suddenly hiding the sun. 

Your blue eyes are empty when you look at me. We shouldn‘t look so similar, we aren‘t even related. 

You are not my brother. 

It is dangerous when you look like this because then I think that my dream comes true, that you and I are the same thing. 

I shout at you and tell you how much I hate you and then I take you because I want to own myself.  
______

You look at me judgingly when I kill them all one by one. 

How would it be to live in your hair? Or under your skin? Between your fingers? 

I already live in your head. 

How comfortable would it be in your heart?  
______

There is war between our fatherland and my fatherland and you go back home. When you shove your Farewell into me so that it makes me see stars (like the days when I was falling through the universe after letting go), while you‘re biting your Goodbye into my throat and gripping my manhood with your Take Care, I notice how much you wish not to go. 

Since when don‘t you want to go back to Asgard? 

You become too much like me. 

When I come, I have a vision of you, but with blue skin and I can‘t stop screaming.  
______

“I hate you.“ 

“I love you.“ 

“I love you, too.“ 

“I hate you, too.“

“I want to cut you open and crawl into you and patch you up again with my magic. And then we would be forever as one and I could be forever with you and we would be equal and we both would be king. I would nourish you with my magic and you would nourish me with your blood and sometimes, I would poke my head out of you to make everybody know what we _are_ and Everything. Would. Be. Good.“ 

He swings Mjölnir and I fend it off, laugh at him and disappear. 

My brother hates the truth. 

That‘s why he loves me so much.  
______

Sometimes he goes too far with wishing us being one. 

But he wouldn‘t be Thor if he didn‘t, and I don‘t want anything but him. 

And when he kisses me, we become one and 

_everything is good._

Until I try to kill him again because I hate myself so much.


End file.
